therapy, the princess cries

Writing this late at night after everyone is in bed.....

So today I and Princess had back to our Kay our intern therapist, the first time in a couple weeks. She welcomes us in, has us sit on the floor, takes out a small whiteboard, and colored markers. Princess and I are to make a mosaic with different colors representing different emotions. Yellow-happy. Blue-sad. Black-scared. Green-jealous. Red-as Princess correctly guessed, was mad.

Princess starts, and draws a somewhat elaborate drawing with the blue. I draw a simple star in yellow (thinking to start on a positive note: I was happy Princess wanted to go and was so well-behaved visiting her mom in prison). We all went through the various colors, with her drawings more complicated, mine more simple. 
(the most striking drawing was a red angry heart, or rather two jagged edged heart halves.) 

which, she explained, turned out to be nothing more than having to leave early and miss a television program she was watching. At least that was her explanation.

I drew a black square to represent fear from last night's temper tantrum (I really felt more scared than angry)

So we went through an excercise in which she would tell her side of the story of what led to the temper tantrum, and I would tell mine.

I went second; I retold that story I had already written about here.

Princess went first; she said she wanted to look something up on the computer while Little Sister was taking a bath; she thought it was okay since I didn't say right then to not go on the computer. Also she didn't say anything about hitting Little Sister, or attacking me prior to my turning off the television and her epic tantrum.

And then something pretty amazing happened. She started crying. Usually her emotions go from happy (evil laugh) to angry and defiant. Just crying unconsolably....I seldom see that. The therapist seems to change tack a bit and to concentrate on making her feel better, telling her to breathe, offering kleenex, taking some aquaphor and rubbing her hand an arm, putting on soothing music. Princess keeps crying, quietly. I offer to hug or hold her; she says no. She says she wants mommy.

Later, while Princess is out going to the bathroom, the therapist says this could actually be encouraging....that she is dealing with strong feelings, that they include feelings of guilt (not shame) and possibly remorse...an indication that perhaps Princess is developing a working conscience (my words). She says she will call me later to discuss what happened and what to do.

Princess stops crying by the time we get to the car. I offer to stop and get a snack at a place of her choice....she ends up taking me to the mall and getting a chinese kid's meal.  She seems back to her regular, not always cooperative self by the time we get home.